


The Morning After The Night Before

by showmeyourtardis



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1470199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showmeyourtardis/pseuds/showmeyourtardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uther catches Arthur doing something unfavourable with someone even more unfavourable. Knowing Uther's murderous ways Arthur does everything in his power to save his friend and new lover. Slash story not smut and multichaptered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> another fic from ff.net, this was only the second fic I'd ever written, so it may be a little rougher than my others.

Merlin roused slightly but kept his eyes closed. He forced himself to remember the dream he had been having. Him and Arthur laughing and cuddling and kissing... Amongst other things. He felt his lips curve into a smile.

The wind whistled loudly round the castle walls. For once, Merlin didn't hear it come through the glass-less window in his chambers. He didn't feel it lift at his thin blanket and burrow under his skin. Instead he focused on the dream he had had.

If he thought hard enough he could still feel the muscled arm wrapped around him. He could feel the thick, impossibly-soft blanket on top of him. He could feel the warm breath on his neck. He was concentrating so hard, even when Arthur wriggled closer against the wind, Merlin put it down to his imagination.

Not daring to believe his dream had actually happened.

*******

The sun shone directly on Arthur's face, waking him. He had forgotten to close the curtains last night. He had forgotten to do a lot of things actually, the only thing that was important last night was Merlin. All that had mattered was getting Merlin to smile, hearing him moan happily, feeling his body against his own. Speaking of Merlin, Arthur could feel his friend (well friend wasn't really the word anymore) snuggled beneath his arm.

Arthur nuzzled closer to Merlin and kissed his neck.

“Morning.” He whispered, his voice croaky with sleep.

Merlin jumped and Arthur pulled away quickly.

“What? What did I do?” Arthur asked as he sat up.

Merlin spun around in the bed and faced Arthur.

“You're real!” Merlin practically shouted.

Arthur pressed his hand to Merlin's mouth and laughed, “Shh!”

“But you're real.” Merlin mumbled against Arthur's hand.

“Of course I'm real Merlin!” Arthur laughed again, “I'm going to remove my hand. Don't scream about how I'm real, okay?”

Arthur removed his hand, revealing Merlin's cute smile.

“Why wouldn't I be real?” Arthur asked, pulling the covers back over himself as he lay down on his pillow.

“I thought... Nevermind.” Merlin said, resting his head on Arthur's chest, his forehead pressed against Arthur's neck.

“Tell me.” Arthur begged, wrapping both his arms around Merlin tightly.

“I would if I could breathe!” Merlin gasped.

“Sorry.” Arthur mumbled, loosening his grip slightly.

“I thought-” Merlin was cut off by the door slamming open.

Both of them snapped up as Uther, followed by roughly ten guards, poured through Arthur's chamber doors.

“ARTHUR!” Uther bellowed.

Arthur realised he still had an arm around Merlin, he pulled away quickly and struggled for something to say.

But really, what was there to say? His father had just caught him in his bed with his manservant, in his underwear. There was no way to deny it, no way to say “it's not what you think” because it was; it was exactly what Uther thought.

Arthur loved Merlin, there was no point trying to deny it. He had spent long enough denying his feelings.

“Father...” Arthur trailed off at the fury in Uther's eyes.

“Seize them.”

Uther gestured to the bed, all the while staring straight at Arthur. Ignoring Merlin's very existence. The guards stomped forward. Hands reached out and ripped Merlin and Arthur apart.

“Father stop!” Arthur struggled against the hands gripping him.

He was dragged from the bed forcefully, but it was nothing compared to how Merlin was dragged. Arthur struggled harder, trying to get free as Merlin was yanked from the bed and thrown to the floor.

“STOP IT! Father stop them!” Arthur screamed.

He managed to pull one arm free and reach across the bed. He couldn't even get close to the guards, now punching and kicking Merlin on the floor, before another guard grabbed his free arm.

“LET ME GO! STOP! YOU'LL KILL HIM!” Arthur begged

Arthur was being pulled towards the door, towards his father. The few steps to his father seemed like a lifetime. He didn't take his eyes off the guards still kicking at Merlin. Memorising their faces because Arthur would have revenge. No matter what happened from now on, Arthur would never forget the faces that did this.

Eventually Merlin was wrenched to his feet, blood pouring from his nose, his forehead, his mouth. Just hours ago, Arthur had kissed every inch of Merlin's face; now it was bruised and bloody. The bruises weren't just on his face though, they were on his bare chest, some were perfectly boot-shaped. Arthur felt his mouth go dry and the tickle in his throat that told him he was going to cry. He begged himself not to cry, not to breakdown, because that would fuel Uther's anger. Uther didn't respond to begging or whimpering. Instead he tried to act indifferent.

Arthur stood up straighter against the guards and walked willingly towards Uther. It was easier to take his eyes off Merlin now, he never wanted to see him like that again. He wanted that image erased from his mind.

“Father. Don't do this.” Arthur said in a monotone, “Let me explain.”

“Lock them both away.” Uther replied, ignoring Arthur.

“Please!” Arthur broke down again, he couldn't keep himself together when he could hear the rasping breath coming from Merlin.

The guards dragged Arthur towards the door. Once he was behind Uther's back he tried his hardest to turn and see Merlin. One last look. One last look to tell him it was going to be okay, he wouldn't let Uther do anything to him.

But he couldn't say that. By the time he had twisted around it was too late, Uther had his hand wrapped around Merlin's throat.

*******

Merlin was keeping busy. He was planning. Inspecting every bar to his cell carefully, trying to find the weakest one – not that it would matter, his magic could break through any of these bars as easy as Arthur's sword could slice through butter. Still, he couldn't escape just yet, he had to wait for his trial. See Arthur one last time.

Unless he could convince Arthur to leave Camelot too...

No, he couldn't ask that. Arthur needed to be here, needed to become King. Then Merlin could return, maybe this was part of his destiny? Maybe it was written a long time ago that Merlin would have to leave, only to return at a later date.

Merlin sighed and turned away from the bars. There was no point even pretending to inspect them, they couldn't hold him here no matter how strong they were.

He sat down on the cold floor and rested his head against the wall separating him from Arthur.

“Arthur?” He tried calling through again.

Again no response came. He rubbed absent-mindedly at the cut across his forehead. They hadn't even sent Gaius to check on his health. Although Uther probably wouldn't care if he died, he'd only care that he missed the chance to do it himself.

Meanwhile, in the cell next door Arthur was busy pacing up and down.

“I will never throw anyone in jail unless they deserve it.” Arthur vowed to the empty cell.

He kicked at a bit of hay on the floor and sighed. It had been hours since he'd been thrown in here. Merlin had come shortly after, thrown in the cell next door. Arthur didn't doubt Uther had done it on purpose. Put Merlin so close, yet too far away to speak to him, to comfort him, and promise his safety.

About two hours ago, Arthur had expected Gwen to bring him some food, hoping to convince her to tell Merlin he'll be fine. But it wasn't Gwen who appeared, it was another servant. One Arthur hadn't seen before. She had barely looked at him, her hands making the tray shake, as she lowered a tray of food and a bag of clothes onto the table and dashed back out.

Arthur lowered himself to the makeshift bed in the corner. He would just sit here and wait. He might have to wait hours, a day, even two days, but eventually Uther would send for him. And Arthur would be ready.

The sun shone brightly through the small window near the top of the cell, illuminating a small square on the cell floor.

It was a beautiful day.

Four guards appeared. They split into two groups of two and walked purposefully towards his and Merlin's cells.

It was a beautiful day for Arthur to have his heart ripped out.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin stared down at the throne-room floor. The hard stone was digging into his knees and the cuffs on his wrists were far too tight. But he didn't dare move; didn't dare re-adjust himself. Instead he just kneeled and stared, waiting for the result of his _totally fair_ trial.

He could feel Arthur's eyes boring a hole into the top of his head, he didn't look up. If he even thought of Arthur again, Uther would likely rip his head off with his bare hands. Merlin couldn't tell what Uther was angrier about; that his son was gay, or that his son was gay for a servant.

“Stand up.” Uther commanded.

Merlin struggled to his feet, not so easy in handcuffs. He stood up as straight as possible and looked Uther in the eyes.

“The court is gathered to witness the trial of... Arthur's manservant.”

_Nice,_ Merlin thought, _He's going to condemn me to death and he doesn't even know my name._

“You are being tried for sorcery and-”

“WHAT!” Arthur shouted, cutting Uther off, causing several people in the court to jump.

“Arthur, do not interrupt me.” Uther warned, not turning to look at his son.

“Merlin is not a sorcerer!” Arthur shouted.

“Arthur. I'm warning you.” Uther practically growled.

“What is this trial even for? He hasn't done anything wrong!” Arthur said, stepping forward and forcing his father to look at him.

“HE HAS PUT A SPELL ON YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE HIM!” Uther bellowed, shoving Arthur back forcefully.

Arthur caught himself before he fell backwards, keeping out of reach of Uther, “He hasn't put a spell on me!”

“Arthur. If you want to stay in this trial, you will shut your mouth.” Uther stated.

Arthur stood glaring at Uther, but didn't say anything more. Uther walked back to Merlin, Arthur glanced over to his manservant. Only for a second, but Merlin knew Arthur had given up. Arthur had submitted to Uther's will and Uther's will meant Merlin's death.

“Do you plead guilty to the charges?” Uther asked

Merlin hesitated. He could save Arthur. It would kill him, but he could save Arthur. He had to try to rebuild the bridge he had helped Arthur burn. If Merlin was out of the picture, Arthur would carry on in his destiny and become King. Merlin had to do this. It was his destiny.

“Yes.”

“NO!” Arthur shouted, lunging towards Uther.

The guards were ready, they leapt forward and seized Arthur. It took four guards but eventually he was kept still. Anger and sadness overwhelmed him as he watched, unable to stop what was coming.

“Then I hereby find you guilty of sorcery and treason. By the law of Camelot, I sentence you to death. You will be killed by the severing of your head from your body. Take him away.”

“No...” Arthur repeated. This time is wasn't a shout of disbelief, it was a whine, a whimper. He would have to watch Merlin die, at the hands of his father.

The guards stepped forward for Merlin this time. They dropped Arthur and he fell to his knees, not even trying to save himself. It only took two guards to drag Merlin towards the door. Merlin took one last look around the room.

Gwen was crying silently on Gaius' shoulders. Gaius himself was staring solumnly back at Merlin. Arthur remained on his knees, watching Merlin being dragged from the room. Merlin's last sight before the doors shut, was of Uther's face.

*******

“What do you think?” Arthur asked quietly as Gwen rooted through the many potion bottles in Gaius' chambers. She finally found a suitable glass and filled it with water, handing it over to Arthur.

“It's not clever at all” She answered, wiping her tears away.

She hadn't stopped crying since Uther had sentenced Merlin. She didn't know how she'd be able to survive Merlin's execution. A strangled sound escaped her throat when she thought of those words, _Merlin's execution._

“But it's the only thing you can do to save him.” She added.

Gaius stepped out of Merlin's chambers, carrying a bag. He handed it over to Arthur, “That should be everything. If he needs anything else, he'll have to find it in Ealdor.”

“He will go to Ealdor then?” Arthur asked, placing the bag on the bench next to him.

“I would imagine so. He's never been anywhere other than Ealdor and Camelot. He'll probably go to Ealdor before he heads off further down the country.”

Gwen whimpered and covered her face in her cloth. Arthur glanced over at her and felt like copying her. Hiding away from all of this, and crying until he made himself sick, but he couldn't.

“Have you been down to see him?” Arthur asked.

“We can't. He's in there for treason. Uther has warned the guards not to let anyone down there... Especially not you.” Gaius explained.

“I figured as much. The guards are following me everywhere, I managed to shake them off to come here. They'll find me eventually.” Arthur shrugged, sipping at his water.

*******

Arthur rolled over in his bed and glanced at the door. The guard sat leaning next to it was asleep, finally. As quietly as possible Arthur slid out of his bed. He was still dressed, so all he had to do was sneak out his chambers, sneak down to the jail, find the keys and release Merlin. Simple enough, right?

Sneaking towards the sleeping guard, he spotted the keys hanging off his belt. He held his breath and crouched down. He slowly moved the keys around the belt. He froze as they jingled. Still holding his breath, he peeked at the guard's face. He was still asleep thankfully. Even slower than before he unhooked the ring of keys and pulled them away.

Once they were off, he breathed a sigh of relief. Arthur had gotten this far, no one could say he hadn't tried. Holding the keys in such a way to prevent them from jingling, he unlocked the door, praying it didn't creak.

Arthur resisted voicing his annoyance when he saw the barrage of guards outside his chambers. Six of them in total, all of them asleep. It's lucky it was only Arthur sneaking about the castle tonight and not Morgana, for example.

He was tempted to wake them all up and give them a telling off, but he needed to save Merlin first. He could shout at some guards tomorrow. Maneuvering between the bodies in the corridor, Arthur hastily made his way to the jail, planning how to get the keys for Merlin's cell. No doubt they'd be under high protection.

*******

Merlin paced up and down his cell. Arthur had to come. If Merlin was going to banish himself from Camelot he had to say goodbye to Arthur before he did.

It had been hours though. Surely Arthur didn't believe Merlin's confession of sorcery...

No, of course not. No doubt Arthur was being babysat in his chambers and he wouldn't be allowed to leave. The next time Merlin could see Arthur would be seconds before his head was no longer attached.

Merlin sighed and decided to give it another few minutes before he broke out and left. He sat down on the pile of hay in the corner and, bored, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall.

He thought back to this morning. He had been so happy. He remembered cuddling up to Arthur in bed, feeling Arthur's heartbeat through his muscled chest. How comfortable and safe he felt wrapped up in Arthur's strong arms.

“What are you smiling about?” Arthur whispered through the bars.

Merlin opened his eyes, his smile still on his face as he quietly ran to the bars. Arthur mirrored Merlin's smile.

“I thought you weren't going to come.” Merlin whispered back

“Of course I'd come. I wouldn't let this happen.” The smile left Arthur's face as he remembered the danger Merlin was in.

Arthur pulled away from the bars and, after a quick look over his shoulder, he unlocked the cell door. Merlin stepped out and immediately Arthur's arms were wrapped around him. Merlin never wanted to leave, he wanted to stay here in Arthur's arms forever. It felt like Uther couldn't harm him here. No one could harm him.

“I'm so sorry.” Arthur whispered into the top of Merlin's head.

“Don't be. It's not your fault.” Merlin whispered back into Arthur's chest.

Reluctantly, Arthur pulled away. He looked into Merlin's eyes and could feel that familiar tickle in his throat once again.

“Where are you going to go?” Arthur asked, running his finger across Merlin's jawline.

“I don't know. Probably Ealdor, see my mother for a bit.”

“You can't stay there for a long time though. If Uther decides to come looking for you, that'll be the first place he looks for you.”

“Then you have to play your part.”

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“You have to act like you've just come out of a spell. Act like you never loved me.”

“What good will that do?”

“It'll mean Uther will trust you again. It might even mean he'll let you lead the hunt for me.”

“Merlin, I don't-”

“SHH!” Merlin hissed.

Arthur had spoken louder than he had intended to and they both paused, listening for any guards. Thankfully no sound came.

“You won't have to hunt me down. You can lead them down a false trail, you prat.” Merlin whispered, smiling slightly.

“Fine. But knowing you, you'll appear on that false trail by some kind of Merlin bad-luck.” Arthur whispered back, pulling Merlin close again.

“I'll try my hardest.” Merlin stood on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Arthur's.

Arthur kissed him back gently and lovingly. Anything could happen to Merlin from now on and Arthur couldn't do anything, barring actually running away with Merlin.

Arthur pulled away, “I'll come with you.”

Merlin stepped back, shocked, “No. Arthur. You're the only heir to the throne.”

“Tell me you won't be safer with me.”

“Of course I won't, you prat. You're the Prince, Uther wouldn't just let you leave. He'd hunt us both down, kill me himself, then lock you in your chambers forever.” Merlin smiled.

“Shut up, Merlin.”

“I have to go now...” Merlin replied sadly.

“I know.” Arthur leant down and passed Merlin a bag of his items, “I didn't know what you'd want. So I asked Gaius to sort it out. If anything's missing, I'm sorry.”

“Gaius...” Merlin whispered sadly, “Tell him I said goodbye. And the knights. And Gwen too!”

“I will.”

Arthur watched as Merlin rooted through the bag. He pulled out a wooden dragon and smiled at it, Arthur subconsciously mirrored the smile again. Merlin put the dragon back and looked up, Arthur could see the tears sparkling in his eyes.

Arthur felt tears in his own eyes and his vision began to blur slightly. He smiled at Merlin and Merlin smiled back.

Merlin pulled the bag over his shoulder and walked away. But before he could take more than a few steps, Arthur reached out and grabbed his arm. He pulled him back and kissed him once more, one last time.

It was different to the other kiss, more intense and panicked. Arthur knew this was their last kiss, at best only for a few years, at worst forever. Merlin gripped at Arthur's shirt as Arthur grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him closer.

Merlin pulled away again and this time, with tears pouring down his face, he walked away without hesitating. Arthur swiped at his own tears and pulled Merlin's cell door closed and locked it.

He watched Merlin disappear around the corner, before making his quiet way back to his chambers, alone.


	3. Tuesday

_**Six Months Later** _

**Tuesday**

 

Arthur shifted uncomfortably in his chainmail. His new manservant still hadn't got his belt size correct. He had tried again and again to explain that he needed to add another notch to it, but the guy just didn't understand. He didn't really understand much about Arthur either. Everytime Arthur tried to make a joke, the man just stood there staring. Nothing like...

Arthur cleared his throat, stopping his train of thought. Uther turned slightly in his throne and looked at him, smiling. At least Uther had forgotten Merlin ever existed. Must be nice to not be buried in guilt every night.

Arthur looked around at the crowd in the throne room. He wasn't sure why Uther had gathered court today, in fact if he was honest, he wasn't sure what Uther had been doing for the past six months. All Arthur had done since that horrible day was follow orders and train. Without Merlin he had just stopped caring. He didn't know exactly when Merlin had become the reason he woke up in the morning, all he knew was that he was.

“Welcome. I have gathered this court today with excellent news.” Uther said excitedly, standing up from his throne.

“I'd like to formally welcome King Eadred from Bilinyth and his daughter, Princess Mathilde, to Camelot.”

As Uther finished speaking, two guards heaved open the heavy, wooden doors to the throne room. A large, and slightly terrifying, man walked in. His hair was short, but the short hairs on his head were shockingly white. A large jagged scar crossed his left eye, making him look threatening, despite the friendly nod he offered to Uther.

He wore similar clothes to Uther but instead of a red cloak, he wore a green cloak. And instead of the Pendragon seals on his clothing, his seal was a black dog. Arthur noted how much darker Eadred's clothes were, but before he could contemplate this too much, his daughter appeared behind him.

She wore a pale green dress, lined with white lace. It was simple, yet still a dress of royalty. She was quite pretty as well, she had long hair, down to her waist, as white as the lace on her dress. She smiled at Arthur when she saw him, it was a genuine, warm smile, like she had known Arthur her whole life. Without consciously intending to, Arthur realised he was smiling back at her.

“Welcome Eadred.” Uther smiled, grasping Eadred's arm.

Eadred smiled back and gestured for his daughter to come forward, Arthur rose. Arthur grasped Eadred's arm as well. Then bowed to Mathilde. She curtseyed in response, keeping that earnest smile on her face all the while.

“I'm so glad we could do this.” Eadred said.

“As am I.” Uther replied, then turning to speak to the whole court, “A treaty of our two kingdom's will be signed tomorrow at midday. Until then, I ask you extend your greatest respect to our guests.”

Uther nodded at the crowd in the throne room and they, row-by-row, left the room. Leaving the two Kings and their heirs remaining.

“Arthur, it is such an honour to meet you. I have heard great things.” Eadred said.

Despite his intimidating appearance, Eadred spoke with true respect to Arthur. Arthur found himself becoming less and less scared of the man the more he spoke.

“My daughter and I have travelled far and wide to come to your kingdom, Uther.” Eadred said, eloquently, “I hope the treaty will be signed with very little argument. I want nothing more than to bring our kingdoms together.”

“As do I, Eadred. I hope our children will see it the same way.” Uther said, quite intensely.

“Father?” Arthur asked, suddenly suspicious.

“All will be explained tonight at dinner. For now, show Mathilde to her chambers while Eadred and I talk.” Uther answered.

Arthur nodded politely and offered his arm to Mathilde. She accepted and followed him as he lead her out of the room.

“Please, call me Tilly.” She said once the doors to the throne-room were closed.

“Tilly?” Arthur asked, smirking slightly.

“I know, it sounds like a pet's name. But I prefer it to Mathilde. My father hates it though, so I wouldn't let him hear you calling me that, if you know what's good for you.” She spoke casually, again like she had known Arthur her whole life.

She was very charming and Arthur found himself hanging on her every word, as she spoke about her kingdom and her life at home. Before Arthur knew it, they were stood outside her door. Arthur wanted to know more about her life in Bilinyth; about her mother who had not come on this journey; about her journey here. He wanted to listen to her talk for hours and hours. But he couldn't.

Instead he kissed her hand as a goodbye and walked back to his chambers, genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.

*******

“Sire, your presence is required in the courtroom.” Arthur's manservant, Lewis, said.

“Thank you Lewis. For tonight, the stables need mucking out.” Arthur said, as he reached for his sword.

“I have already done it Sire. Is there anything else that is required of me?”

“Erm... No, you can have tonight off then, Lewis. Thank you.” Arthur said, he still couldn't get used to a servant actually doing his job.

“Sire.” Lewis bowed low, before exiting the room.

Arthur shook himself slightly, his conversations with Lewis were always so bland. Sometimes he wanted someone to talk to, rather than someone to talk at.

It was as Arthur was quickly brushing his hair in the mirror, he heard a knock at the door. Expecting Lewis to have discovered another job to do, Arthur turned around rather agressively. He paused when he saw who was at the door.

“Lady Mathilde, what are you doing here?”

“It's Tilly. And I thought, maybe, you could walk me down to the courtroom? I'm not sure where it is...” Tilly said, stepping into Arthur's chambers and looking around.

“Er...” Arthur watched her run her fingers across his table absentmindedly, as she explored the room, “My father sent a servant to your chambers to guide you.”

“Oh yes and she was lovely. She was so understanding when I said I wanted to go to your chambers. In fact, she didn't seem upset when I said I'd rather a handsome Prince take me to dinner than her.” Tilly laughed as Arthur went red.

Arthur opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. Instead he smiled, and offered his arm to Tilly once more.

“So where were we?” Arthur asked as he shut the door behind him.

“I do believe we were about to talk about your life here in Camelot.”

Arthur paused, “It's... Good.”

Tilly laughed and Arthur found himself laughing with her, “It's good? That's all you have to say? I spent the whole walk between the throne-room and my chambers talking about myself. It's your turn!”

“Fine... What do you want to know?” Arthur asked, not sure where to start.

“Hmm... What do you do on your days off?” Tilly asked, glancing out the window as they passed.

“Knight training.”

“Knight training? On your day off?” Tilly asked shocked.

“What else is there to do?”

“I don't know! Read? Go for a horse ride? Picnic with friends? Even spend time in the tavern! Just something that isn't so taxing! Do you never do anything like that?”

“Not recently.” Arthur said without thinking.

“Why not recently?” Tilly asked, slowing her pace.

“I... Busy time, I guess.”

“Okay next question, favourite colour?”

“Favourite colour, that's hardly an interesting question.” Arthur teased.

“Just answer it. Mine's yellow.”

“Yellow? I would have thought green.”

“See! So you learnt something new about me, what's yours?”

Arthur thought hard, “Blue.”

“Like the sky?”

“More like... Blue eyes.”

“Which leads onto the next question perfectly, anyone special in your life?” Tilly asked, nudging Arthur slightly.

Arthur didn't respond. Instead all the memories he had been avoiding for the past six months flooded back. They all sped past, slowing down whenever Merlin smiled or laughed. Then finally Arthur was slowly remembering the first, and consequently last, night they had together. Suddenly remembering the feel of Merlin's skin on his lips, the breathless moaning coming from his own throat. 

“Are you okay?” Tilly asked, coming to a halt.

“What?” Arthur asked, snapping out of his daydream.

“You seem sad... Well you're smiling, but you still seem sad...” Tilly explained, cocking her head to the side.

“I'm fine.” Arthur said rather shortly.

The rest of the walk to the courtroom was spent in silence, apart from their footsteps.

*******

“Ah there you are. We thought you might've gotten lost.” Uther smiled as Arthur and Mathilde walked in.

“I did, but Prince Arthur was kind enough to show me the way.” Mathilde smiled at Arthur as she took her seat.

She clearly wasn't upset at Arthur's blunt reply earlier on. Arthur smiled back. A servant walked over to the table and filled up their goblets while another filled their plates.

“So Eadred and I have been talking. To strengthen this treaty, we have decided another union must be formed.”

Arthur nodded enthusiastically, even though he wasn't sure where Uther was going with this. He stuffed some bread into his mouth, realising how hungry he was.

“Yes, a union of man and woman. Marriage.” Eadred finished.

There was silence in the room. All four at the table had stopped eating. Uther and Eadred were staring at their respective children, while Arthur and Mathilde were staring at each other, equally bewildered.

“It's a lot to take in, we understand, but this would benefit both our kingdoms greatly.” Eadred enthused.

“But...” Mathilde spoke before Arthur could fathom what was going on.

“Mathilde? Is there a problem?” Eadred asked in a threatening tone.

“No father. I'm excited” Mathilde answered, looking thoroughly un-excited.

“Father, I...” Arthur spoke.

His mind was still buzzing. Marriage? He couldn't marry Mathilde. Yes, she was charming and funny but she wasn't Merlin. The only person he wanted to marry, was the only person he couldn't marry. He couldn't explain this to Uther without being locked away, but surely Uther should know!

“Yes, Arthur?” Uther warned.

“When?” Mathilde asked, staring at her food. The smile finally gone from her face.

“We were thinking we begin the celebrations on Friday. With the ceremony on Sunday.” Eadred smiled, “Your mother will be brought down on Thursday, so don't worry.”

Mathilde raised her eyebrows in a not-what-I-was-worrying-about expression but her father didn't seem to notice. Arthur did, however.

“We don't love each other.” Arthur said, carefully.

“What does love have to do with it?” Uther asked laughing.

“I assume you loved my mother?” Arthur asked, his knuckles turned white as he gripped the table edge.

He realised he had gone too far when Uther placed his goblet down and stared hawk-like at Arthur.

“You will marry Mathilde on Sunday. Need I remind you about our agreement?” Uther whispered menacingly.

Mathilde looked at Arthur confused. But Arthur knew exactly what agreement Uther was referring to. About two weeks after Merlin's escape, Uther had intended to send a patrol out for him, well more like a hunt. Arthur had begged – he had actually begged – Uther not to. He had lied about Merlin being dangerous and powerful. He had lied about never loving Merlin and said the past weeks with Merlin had all been a confusing daze. Told Uther not to bother wasting anymore time looking for him and instead just be ready if he ever returns. He had kept his promise to Merlin, and had played his part perfectly. He couldn't stop now.

“A wedding it is. I'm looking forward to it.” Arthur faked, lifting his goblet and clinking it with Mathilde's. 


	4. Wednesday

**Wednesday**

 

“A wedding? Oh Arthur.” Gwen said sadly

Arthur had come down to Gwen's house the moment he'd got dressed this morning. He needed an outsider's opinion on what he should do – well, he needed someone to tell him he was doing the right thing.

“I know. But I have to do this. For Merlin.” Arthur replied, sitting down opposite Gwen, “Right?”

“I'm not sure how this helps Merlin...” Gwen said, lighting the candle between them.

“My father and I have an agreement. I have to behave perfectly to stop him hunting Merlin down. If I don't marry Tilly, he'll go back on his promise.” Arthur muttered, lowering his forehead to the table.

“When is it?”

“Sunday.”

“How does she feel about it?”

“I don't know. I'd imagine similarly to me. She didn't seem that interested at dinner.” Arthur muttered into the wooden table.

“Do you love her?”

“What does love have to do with it?” Arthur asked, mimicking Uther's words from yesterday.

Gwen looked at Arthur sadly, she had no idea how he felt. She had never and would never be in this situation. She stood up and looked out the window at the townspeople in the street. Every morning at roughly this time, she would see Merlin walking through the market buying herbs for Gaius or food for Arthur's lunch.

“Do you miss him?” Gwen whispered.

Arthur sat up and looked at her. He didn't reply, instead he stood and walked towards the door.

“I should go. Knight training.”

“Arthur I didn't mean to...” But Arthur had already gone.

*******

Arthur dodged the incoming sword skillfully. He turned slightly on his foot and threw his sword back at the knight in front of him.

But the knight had learnt from the best and repeated Arthur's dodge. He brought up his elbow, aiming for Arthur's chest, but Arthur recognised the move – considering he'd been the one who had taught him – and ducked low. He moved back up and hit his shoulder into the knight's chin, sending him backwards. The knight stumbled slightly, Arthur knew he had won. Arthur stepped forward and hooked his sword behind the knights legs and pulled, the knight flew backwards towards the ground.

Arthur stepped over him and launched his sword into the ground next to his head. Then offered his hand to the knight.

“Well done. Soon you'll be as good as me.” Arthur joked, the knights watching laughed.

The young knight who had just fought Arthur laughed as well, he allowed himself to be helped up by the Prince. Arthur looked around at his knights and caught sight of a young woman waiting in the midst, picnic basket in hand.

“I want you all to learn from Richard's efforts. Practice your defense, as it's equally as important as attack.”

The knights paired off and Arthur walked over to Mathilde.

“Has anyone ever told you, you look incredibly handsome when you're fighting?” Tilly smiled.

“They never stop telling me.” Arthur replied, winking.

“I was thinking, since we are to be married, we should get to know each other better.” Tilly said, lifting up the picnic basket, “I asked your manservant what you liked but he didn't seem to know much...”

“Yeah... He's new.”

“I just put together a few things, hopefully you'll find something you like.”

Arthur got the feeling Tilly wasn't just talking about the food.

*******

“You didn't!” Arthur laughed, taking a sip of his wine.

“Honestly! My father didn't forgive me for a whole year!” Tilly giggled, “I was forbidden from drinking wine again for even longer!”

Arthur threw his head back, sobbing with laughter. He had expected this picnic to be a solemn event, talking of their regrets, but it wasn't. Tilly was truly charming and could make him laugh like Merlin could. Marrying her wouldn't be all that horrible.

“So come on, you must have one funny story!” Tilly pressed, rolling a grape between her fingers, “I've told you every single one I have!”

“Nope, I'm sorry.”

“You're impossible to read, Arthur! I've practically told you everything about my life back home and you've told me absolutely nothing.”

“What do you want to know?” Arthur asked, turning to look at the water.

They were sat on the grass near the Lake of Avalon. It was a beautiful day and the sun was sparkling off the lake, creating a beautiful view.

“Everything.”

“Be more specific.” Arthur turned back to Tilly, the sun was sparkling off her bright, white-blond hair – another beautiful view.

“Fine, but no storming off this time! That special person in your life – don't look at me like that Arthur, I know there is one – what happened to her?” Tilly asked, looking into Arthur's eyes.

“They... Were banished.” Arthur said, it was the first time he'd spoken about Merlin.

“Why?”

“My father didn't approve of me with them.”

“So he banished her?” Tilly asked, clearly appalled.

“I'm sorry. I don't want to... I can't...” Arthur stammered.

“I understand.” Tilly reached out and held onto Arthur's hand.

He stared down at their hands, entwined together, and smiled.

“Anything else you want to know?” Arthur asked, lifting Tilly's hand to his mouth and kissing it.

“What do you think of these sandwiches?” Tilly asked, taking a bite of her sandwich using her free hand.

Arthur laughed again, “They're good. Did you make them?”

“Yes. I'm glad you like them.”

“Do you cook?”

“Sometimes. You?”

“Not really. I tried it once, with a friend of mine, I'm a bit useless really.”

It was a long time before Arthur and Tilly decided to head back to Camelot, spending most of the day telling stories, they went back feeling like they knew everything about the other. Well maybe not everything, but enough to get married on Sunday. They both confessed their feelings and fears about Sunday, but knowing the other was going through the same thing felt better. They weren't alone in this.

However, Arthur still didn't love Tilly and Tilly didn't love Arthur. She was more like a best friend than a lover. Arthur figured he would one day grow to love Tilly, but never as much as he had loved Merlin.

*******

Arthur knocked on the door. It was dinner time and Arthur had decided telling Uther the news over food would probably be easier. The wine he'd be drinking couldn't hurt either. Arthur had been thinking about it ever since he got back from his picnic with Tilly. He didn't love her, she didn't love him, therefore they couldn't get married.

Maybe telling Uther in privacy would be better than telling him with Eadred...

The doors were opened by two guards on the other side and Arthur stepped in.

“Hello Father.” Arthur stated, taking his seat to the left of Uther.

“I heard you and Mathilde spent the day in the forest today?”

“Yes.”

“She's lovely, is she not?” Uther smiled

“She is very charming. But I cannot-”

“Cannot or will not?” Uther asked, cutting Arthur off.

“You don't know what I was going to say.”

“Yes I do. You don't love her, you can't marry her, you love that other one.” Uther guessed, waving his hand dismissively.

“Father-” 

“No, Arthur. You will marry Mathilde!”

“No I won't!” Arthur said, his voice becoming louder.

“YES YOU WILL. Or I will hunt down this boy and kill him in front of you. Anything to break the spell he has over you!” Uther bellowed, slamming his goblet down, spilling wine across the table.

A servant ran to mop up the wine but Uther smacked him away. Arthur stared at his father wide-eyed, watching Uther kill Merlin would be the cruelest fate in the world.

“It's not a spell! I love him!”

“ENOUGH! I will have no more of this nonsense. You will marry Mathilde on Sunday, end of discussion.”

“You can't make me.”

“You're acting like a child, Arthur. Grow up and realise you need to marry Mathilde. How would you ever have an heir with that stupid boy?”

“He's not stupid!”

“Answer the question! How would you get an heir?”

“I...”

“Exactly. You will marry Mathilde and you will have an heir. Now either eat here or go to your chambers.”

Arthur opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything more to say. There was nothing he could say to get Uther to understand. Instead he ate his food and left the room, without another word.

Arthur stormed back up to his chambers, grumbling about the injustice of the whole thing. He slammed the door to his chambers open.

“Somebody's a grumpy goose.” A voice rang out.

Arthur stopped stamping around, Tilly was stood near the window smirking. She wore a fancier dress than she had this morning, probably for dinner with her father. She turned back to look out the window.

“You don't want to marry me.” She said.

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. I don't want to marry you either. Can I confess something?”

“Of course.”

Tilly turned away from the window and sat on the edge of Arthur's bed. She patted the space next to her and Arthur sat down as well.

“I'm in love with a man in Bilinyth. He's a blacksmith, obviously a Princess would never be allowed to marry a blacksmith.”

“Does your father know?”

“Are you kidding? Have you seen that man? He even terrifies me! But you've given me courage. To hear you tell your father you loved a servant, let alone a male servant!”

“You heard that?” Arthur asked, feeling the heat rise up his neck.

“Don't be embarrassed Arthur, I'm not here to judge you. Love is love, is it not? You've given me courage. I will tell my father I love Eoin this very night.”

Arthur smiled, but he knew it wouldn't change anything, “I doubt we'll convince our fathers.”

“Oh there's absolutely no chance we'll convince them.”

“Then why are you telling him?” Arthur laughed.

“To get it off my chest. I don't know, I will return to Bilinyth only once more after our wedding, so I will have to say goodbye to Eoin. I assume it will be easier if my father knows... Well it will never be easy.”

“Will he not get angry at this Eoin?”

“No, probably not. It's not like he caught us in bed together.” Tilly laughed at the absurdity, but stopped when she caught sight of Arthur's face, “No... He didn't. Not in bed.”

“He did.”

“Oh my! Wow. That is just... Really unlucky!”

“I know.” Arthur smiled slightly.

“Is that why he banished him?”

“Well he wanted him killed due to sorcery.”

“Sorcery?”

“Why would a Prince like me love a manservant like him?”

“Oh Arthur, I'm so sorry.”

“He's alive. That's all that matters.”

“You receive letters from him then?”

“Er... No, actually. His guardian, Gaius, used to keep me updated but from what I hear Gaius hasn't received any letters from him for a while.”

“How can you just stay here without knowing where he is?”

“What else is there to do?”

“Find him? Bring him back. Tell him you love him.”

“And risk his life with my father?”

Tilly didn't reply, leaving Arthur to contemplate where Merlin could possibly be. Ever since Merlin's letters stopped coming Arthur had tried to convince himself Merlin would be safe, but it was impossible. All that came to mind was how useless Merlin had been on hunting trips and patrols: constantly making as much sound as physically possible; tripping over every log on the floor; missing obvious signs of danger.

Arthur shuddered and fell backwards on the bed.

“I can't marry you.”

Tilly fell on her back next to Arthur.

“And I can't marry you.”

Arthur turned his head to look at Tilly and she looked back at him.

“I love Merlin.”

“I love Eoin.”

“I'm going to find Merlin.”

“I'm going to tell my father.”

“Be careful.”

“You too.” 


	5. Thursday

**Thursday**

 

It was early in the morning, so early, in fact, the sun hadn't risen yet. Arthur had been riding all night, but he didn't feel tired at all. He lead his horse forward through the trees, being sure to avoid any obvious path, and thought back to last night.

After his and Tilly's epiphanies they had put their plans into action.

_Before dinner with her father, Tilly helped Arthur get his horse ready. Considering he was a Prince he was rather useless at it, and considering she was a Princess she was surprisingly good. She walked him to the gates of Camelot as they planned how to cover his absence. In the end they hadn't thought of a good enough plan and so decided Mathilde would just act surprised._

“ _Good luck.” She whispered._

“ _You'll need it more.”_

_She laughed quietly and, as quick as a flash, she kissed him on the cheek. Her warm lips pressed onto his cheek, cold from the wind, for only a second, but when she pulled away he could still feel where they'd been._

_The wind picked up, causing the hairs not wrapped in her braid to fly around. Arthur reached out, caught some and tucked it behind her ear._

_“Come back safe.” Tilly said, “I can't handle both our father's alone!”_

_Arthur laughed._

_“I mean it. You're an amazing person Arthur, I don't want to lose you.” She whispered, before turning away and walking back to the castle._

Arthur snapped back to reality and realised, with a crushing feeling in his chest, he missed her. It had been less than two days since he'd met her and he was already this attached. The kingdom's didn't need a marriage to strengthen the treaty, the friendship between Arthur and Tilly was strong enough.

He wondered how her father had taken the news. Probably not well, but also probably better than Uther had taken Arthur's news.

The sun had begun to rise in the east, setting the sky alight and bathing the forest in an orange glow. Arthur stifled a yawn and continued onward, trying to ignore the fact that he had absolutely no idea where he was going.

All he knew was that Merlin was no longer in Ealdor. He could stop in Ealdor and find Merlin's mother to ask where he was, but that thought scared him more than the thought of returning to his father. Hunith might blame Arthur for Merlin's punishment. He had had a great life in Camelot and it was all Arthur's fault he was now homeless.

So when it came to it, Arthur decided to ride past Ealdor and instead head for the next town over which was visible in the distance.

*******

Mathilde watched fearfully as her father paced up and down the room. Mathilde hadn't been able to tell Eadred at dinner yesterday, so she had had to wait until breakfast. Eadred had not disappointed in his reaction though, all he had done is stand and pace; occasionally looking at her furiously.

“Father. Please.”

“Please what, Mathilde? Allow you to marry this blacksmith?”

“No, I would never ask that. Just don't force me to marry Arthur. I don't love him.”

“But the treaty must be honoured!”

“The treaty will be honoured. While I do not love Arthur, I have bonded with him. We're very close friends!”

“Friends? Friendship doesn't last, marriages last!”

“He doesn't love me either.” Mathilde pleaded, watching as her father clenched his fists.

“I do not care whether the boy loves you, Mathilde! I care about the safety of the kingdom!” 

“More than me?”

Eadred stopped pacing and looked at her, “I want you to be safe and happy. But sometimes I must put your happiness second to the kingdom's safety!”

“Sometimes?” Mathilde shouted, standing up, “You do it all the time!”

“Grow up please, Mathilde. You aren't the most important thing in the world!”

Mathilde sat down quietly and stared at her now cold food. Suddenly, the doors were pulled open by two guards and Uther walked in.

“Ah Eadred, Mathilde. I was wondering if you'd seen my son.” Uther asked casually.

“Your son? He's not here.” Eadred answered rather shortly.

Uther's smile disappeared and he turned to stare at Mathilde.

“Have you seen him?”

Mathilde swallowed hard, “No. Not since yesterday.”

“I hear you were in his chambers late last night?”

“WHAT!” Eadred thundered.

“Father nothing happened.”

“So you were in his chambers?” Uther pressed.

“No... I just...”

“But you just said nothing happened. Why are you lying?” Uther asked.

“Don't speak to my daughter like that!” Eadred shouted.

“She knows where Arthur is!” Uther bellowed.

“She just said she doesn't!”   
  
“SHE IS LYING!”

Uther turned away from Eadred and stormed over to Mathilde. He shoved his face close to hers and narrowed his eyes.

“He went after that boy, didn't he?”

“I...”

“Answer the question.”

“Uther-” Eadred started.

“Eadred! My son is missing. She was the last to see him. She knows where he is.”

Eadred stared at Uther for a while longer, before turning to his daughter.

“Where is he, Mathilde?”

“Father I don't-” 

“DO NOT LIE TO ME!”

Mathilde felt tears coming to her eyes. She couldn't handle Uther and Eadred questioning her. She couldn't lie any longer, she feared for her safety now her father was on Uther's side.

“I don't know!” She cried.

“YES YOU DO!” Both men roared at her.

Mathilde broke down then, tears flooded her eyes and she covered her face with her hands.

“He went a-after that b-boy.” She stammered.

“I KNEW IT!” Uther bellowed.

“Your son has abandoned my daughter?” Eadred asked, rounding on Uther.

“Your daughter aided my son in escaping! She is as much as guilty as he is!”

“My daughter is guilty of nothing! Look at her! She is heartbroken from his betrayal!”

Mathilde sobbed uncontrollably, the hatred and anger in Uther's eyes would haunt her for the rest of her life. How did Arthur handle that look?

“Your daughter is a traitor!”

“HOW DARE YOU! Your son has abandoned my daughter before their wedding! I have had enough of this treatment, Uther. You can't keep your son in check so you blame my daughter. That is it. I will not sign a treaty with you!”   
  
Eadred stormed over to Mathilde and yanked her up. She was dragged from the room still weeping.

*******

“I said you couldn't come back in 'ere!” The bartender growled.

Arthur looked up from his drink and tried to spot who he was talking to. All Arthur could see was a silhouette stood in the doorway. The tavern smelt like stale ale and old food, but Arthur needed a break from riding.

“Come on, I'll get some money!” A familiar voice replied.

Arthur couldn't quite figure out where he knew that voice from, but he was sure he recognised it.

“I've 'eard that before! Get out, ya low-life!”

“Well, I've never been more hurt by a man's words!” The voice taunted.

“Get out!” The bartender shouted, chucking a jug at the door.

The silhoette jumped slightly to avoid it and, grumbling, wandered back out the tavern.

Arthur shook his head in disapproval, and walked over to the bar. He signalled the bartender over.

“I'm looking for someone, could you help?”

“You're a fancy one, aren' ya?” The barman said, narrowing his eyes at Arthur.

“Er.. Yes. Listen could you help?”

“Gonna cost ya.”

Arthur sighed and handed over a small purse of gold coins. The bartender's eyes lit up as it jingled.

“Wha's he look like?”

“He's young. Black hair, blue eyes. Pale skin, absolutely no muscles, whatsoever.”

The bartender looked thoughtful for a second before saying, “Nah never seen 'im.”

A few people around smirked as the bartender walked off guffawing. Arthur sighed and walked out the tavern, clearly Merlin hadn't been here. The sun was hot today and Arthur knew riding in this heat would be a pain. He needed to find Merlin though, so he walked over to his horse and prepared to mount it, but a voice stopped him.

“That boy you're looking for. Where's he from?”

Arthur didn't turn around, it was the same voice who had just got kicked out of the tavern.

“He's not been here. You wouldn't know him.”

“After all I've done for you, you won't even look at me Arthur.” The voice laughed slightly.

Arthur turned around slowly and stared at the man sat on the floor.

“Hello.” He said, placing his hand over his eyes to protect against the sun.

“Gwaine!” Arthur exclaimed, walking over and offering to help Gwaine up.

Gwaine accepted the arm offered to him and clambered up, “Nice to see you!”

Gwaine looked exactly the same as he always had - chin-length hair and scraggly beard, and most importantly sat outside a tavern.

“I could say the same! I see you're still causing problems in taverns?”

“Just another day in the life.” Gwaine shrugged, “Are you here for Merlin?”

“Merlin? You've seen him?”   
  
“I was sure I had, walking through here 'bout three months ago. I put it down to being drunk though, because why would Merlin leave Camelot?”

“It's... It's a long story. Which way did he go?”

“Are you okay? Is Merlin in danger?” Gwaine asked, suddenly panicking.

“I just need to find him.”

“I'll help. You can buy me some mead while you tell me everything that happened.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and followed Gwaine back into the tavern. The bartender stared furiously at Gwaine when he entered but when he saw Arthur he visibly brightened.

Arthur resisted sighing and wondered how much this would cost him.

“I'll have a jug of ale.” Gwaine winked, clapping Arthur on the shoulder.

Arthur approached the bar, “A jug of ale and a jug of mead, thanks.”

“That'll be seven gold coins.”

“Seven! A jug of mead cost me two before!”

“Yeah well, ya bring 'im in, ya gotta pay more.”

Arthur handed over seven coins and turned to scowl at Gwaine. Gwaine seemed non-plussed and instead shot Arthur a toothy grin.

Carrying the two drinks, Arthur made his way back to Gwaine, “Why does he hate you so much?”

“Too many drinks, not enough money.”

“Typical.”

“You're the Prince, it's not like you can't afford it.” Gwaine waved his hand dismissively, “What's gone on with Merlin?”

Arthur took a long swig of his drink.

“I love him.” He finally said.

“Obviously.” Gwaine said calmly, gesturing for Arthur to continue.

“What?”

Gwaine grimaced, “Anyone who spends more than an hour with you two can feel the love.”

“Are you joking?”

“No. I'm surprised it took you so long to figure it out, honestly.”

Arthur stared at Gwaine, his mouth hanging open. How long had he known? Had everyone known? And more importantly, why the hell had no one told him?

“What?” Gwaine asked.

“Nothing... Just... Nevermind. Anyway, my father caught us together and condemned Merlin to death.”   
  
“WHAT!” Gwaine shouted, the men sat at tables around them, turned to stare.

Gwaine raised his glass and winked at them, before turning back to Arthur, “Sorry.”

“So I helped him escape.” Arthur said, keeping his voice low just in case, “but then my father set me up to marry another woman. She convinced me to come find Merlin.”

“Really? You needed a stranger to tell you to come get Merlin? How useless have you been without him?”

“I'm not useless without him!”

“I'm surprised you're dressed.”

Arthur didn't have a response, he had noticed how useless he'd been at a few things since Merlin had gone. Like preparing his horse, without Tilly he'd probably still be in the stables.

“Which way did he go, Gwaine?”

“He was heading south.”

Arthur stood and began to make his way back to the door.

“Whoa, wait. One more drink.” Gwaine called.   
  
“No Gwaine, come on. We've wasted enough time!”

“You 'eard 'im. Get outta here!” The bartender exclaimed.

“You are not a very nice man!” Gwaine laughed, ducking to avoid the jug flying at his head. 


	6. Friday

**Friday**

 

The guards arrived just after sunrise.

Uther stared at the sea of green cloaks outside Camelot's walls. Eadred had declared war on Camelot and it was all Arthur's fault. When Uther got his hands on him, he was in so much trouble.

And that boy...

Uther clenched his fists angrily.

Richard stood awkwardly at the door. He gulped. Needless to say, like all the other knights, Richard would much prefer Arthur to be leading them into battle. Uther, while an excellent fighter, was frankly terrifying. And unfortunately for Richard it fell to him, as the youngest, to tell Uther they were ready.

Richard cleared his throat and tried to speak, but all that came out was a squeak.

He tried again, “S-Sire.”

He could see Uther's shoulders tense up as he stumbled over his words, which only made the stammering worse.

“S-S-Sire?”

“Yes. What is it?” Uther demanded.

“W-We... Er...”

Richard felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see an older knight with wavy blond hair. The only knight who had been there almost as long as Arthur. The only knight who volunteered to speak to Uther.

“Sire, the knights are ready and awaiting your command.” Leon said.

He spoke without fear of Uther and Richard stared up at him, evidently impressed.

While Leon spoke about their first line of attack, he pushed Richard towards the door. Richard dashed out of the room like a young deer.

Still shaking slightly, Richard made his way back to the courtyard mentally kicking himself for his weakness. Uther shouldn't scare him, Uther was his King. Although, to be honest, as far as Richard was concerned Arthur was King.

Arthur was the one who showed up at Knight Training. He was the one who spoke to the townspeople about any problems they had. He was the one who usually lead them in battle.

And now he was the one who was missing. He had ran off to find his love, Merlin.

_Merlin is so lucky,_ Richard thought as he ran over to his horse.

*******

 

Arthur reached a hand to his eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them. He turned his head slightly and nuzzled closer to Merlin. He felt Merlin's arms tighten on him, but it felt different.

Merlin's arms were muscled and strong, and he didn't smell of lemongrass anymore, more like dirt. The realisation dawned on Arthur and he pulled away quickly.

Gwaine's arms fell away from Arthur as he stared up, dumbstruck.

“What were we...” Gwaine asked in a deeper voice than usual.

“Sleeping. No one needs to know.” Arthur replied in a gruff voice.

Careful to avoid Gwaine's eyes, Arthur stood up and stretched.

“You must be Arthur Pendragon.” A powerful voice said.

Arthur looked around for the owner of the voice and spotted an older woman with short grey hair.

“I don't know about must be.” Arthur said.

“I've heard many things about you, Arthur.” The woman replied.

“I don't know what you're implying but-”

“I'm not implying anything Arthur, don't be so sensitive.” The woman's eyebrows raised slightly at the word sensitive and Arthur felt the heat in his cheeks.

“You've gone red.” Gwaine whispered, evidently amused at Arthur's embarrassment.

“Shut up.” Arthur whispered back, as Gwaine stood and wiped the dirt off himself.

“You're the one who snuggled me against my will!” Gwaine laughed.

“I didn't... I thought you were... Shut up Gwaine!” Arthur said looking flustered.

Gwaine laughed and clapped a hand to Arthur's shoulder, “Calm down Princess.”

“I'm not a...” Arthur took a deep breath and looked away from Gwaine towards the old woman, “How do you know who I am?”

“I know many things Arthur.”

That's when Arthur spotted it, a symbol inked on the woman's arm. Three swirls joining together to make a triangle. The sign of a Druid Seer. Arthur withdrew his sword and glared at the woman.

“You're a druid.”

“I'm a druid seer. You're a true Pendragon, I see, raising your defences at no sign of attack.”

“I've met several druids and-”

“And you'll know we are a peaceful people. Put the sword away, Prince Arthur.”

Arthur made no attempt to lower his sword.

“It seems Merlin was wrong about you.” The woman said.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked, his sword dropping slightly.

“He said you were a just and fair Prince. One unlike his father. I guess he was wrong.”

The woman shrugged and began to walk away.

“Wait!” Arthur shouted, putting his sword away and running after her.

“Why should I?” She asked, pausing anyway.

“What's your name?”

“Excuse me?” She turned to stare at Arthur, perplexed.

“Let us start again. My name is Arthur, this is my friend Gwaine,” Arthur gestured accordingly, “What's your name?”

The woman smiled a half smile, “I am Amena.”

“Amena, lovely name.” Gwaine flirted.

Arthur sighed at him, exasperated, and continued, “You mentioned my friend, Merlin?”

“More than a friend.” Gwaine muttered.

Arthur shot a withering look at Gwaine. The look that Arthur had perfected over his time with Merlin, it was the kind of look that said one more word out of your mouth and you don't speak for a week.

But, like Merlin, it seemed to entertain Gwaine more.

“I did indeed.” Amena responded.

“Do you know where he is?”

“Like I said, I know a lot of things.”

Arthur looked at her, she wasn't making things easy, was she?

“Can you tell me where he is?”

“Oh no, I cannot do that.”

“Why not?” Arthur asked, thinking this conversation was getting more and more pointless.

“I can do one better.” She replied smugly.

Before Gwaine and Arthur could think about what that meant, Amena reached up and placed her hands on their shoulders. The men shook away from her as a prickly feeling spread through them, and stumbled backwards.

“What are you...” But Gwaine trailed off.

Amena had gone.

Arthur stared around at the forest, they were in a completely different part.

"How did she...” Arthur said, pointing at the area around him. 

“I have... No idea...” Gwaine said, equally bewildered.

Looking around him, Gwaine spotted a green symbol painted on a tree. He walked over to it and inspected it.

“Druid?” Gwaine asked.

“Yeah, the same one Amena had. Look! There's another one there!” Arthur exclaimed pointing at the trees ahead of him.

“Doesn't this all feel a bit... Set up, to you?” Gwaine asked as they wandered to the other trees, each marked with the same symbol.

“Yes. But it's the only lead we have.”

*******

The fight had begun. Richard flung his sword with all his might, but this was nothing like training. It wasn't as structured and as predictable. It was horrible and chaotic and thrilling. There were several pairs of knights fighting around him. He couldn't get a good look at who was winning and who was losing. He was too focused on the fight he was in.

The knight in front of him, looked younger than him. He had a childishly round face and ears that seemed too big for his head. The sword in his hands seemed too heavy for him.

Looking at him, Richard couldn't help but picture his younger brother. Where ever he was, Richard hoped his brother wasn't in the same situation he was.

Richard raised his sword and swung at the boy – he wasn't a man yet – and part of him hoped he would dodge it.

Thankfully the boy knew how to dodge. He stumbled to the right and barely managed to stay on his feet. Richard took a deep breath and prepared to counter the attack that could come any minute. The boy in front of him, raised his sword high and swung. Richard swung his sword too and they met with a loud clang. Richard shoved the boy's sword back and pushed his fist into the boy's chest.

The boy stumbled back and looked like he took the hit personally. The boy rubbed slightly at his chest and took another step towards Richard.

Richard prepared again to defend. Defend only, because he would not attack this boy. The fights around him seemed to become louder. He could hear the men shouting. He could hear swords meeting each other. But worse than that, he could hear people's pain, he could hear them dying.

This boy did not deserve to die like that.

As the boy swung his sword again, all Richard thought was, “I can't do this.”

*******

The two man stared down at the vibrant campsite. Pieces of bright coloured fabric ran along the outside of the tents.

The tents themselves were a mix of different fabrics sewn together. Most had holes in, there were only two that did not. Gwaine figured the owners of those tents must be higher in status, sort of the royalty of the campsite.

Arthur could hear his heart beating in his ears. If the signs were correct, the symbols had lead them to the right place, Merlin must be here.

All that Arthur could think about was the day of Merlin's trial, listening to him confess he had used magic against Arthur. Arthur had immediately denied it, but if Merlin was in a druid camp, what else could that mean?

“Do you think that's where he is?” Gwaine asked.

Arthur seemed preoccupied, lost in his thoughts, and Gwaine had to ask twice before he got an answer.

“Almost definitely.”

The two men carefully made their way down the steep hill leading to the camp. As Arthur walked past the tents, he couldn't help but notice how many people stared. Even the children stared.

Arthur felt suddenly uncomfortable in his cloak, he was being judged as the child of Uther. The child of the man who had murdered countless Druids just because they had magic. He tried to make himself look as non-threatening as possible, but couldn't ignore the way the mother's shielded their children.

Gwaine, on the other hand, hadn't noticed anyone. He rubbed at his eyes and squinted, the bright colours of the campsite were too much for his tired eyes. He had barely woken up when he was zapped around by Amena. It was definitely not his favourite way to travel, and if he could help it, he would never do it again.

That's when Arthur grabbed his arm.

“Arthur really, I'm not that kind of-”

Arthur clasped his other hand over Gwaine's mouth, “Did you hear that?”

Gwaine shook his head and strained his ears. The only sound he could hear was the flickering of the campfire next to him.

And laughter...

More specifically, Merlin's laughter.

Arthur released Gwaine and ran towards the sound. It was coming from the biggest tent, coincidentally, one of the two without holes in.

Before Arthur could push his way in though, Amena reappeared.

“Arthur wait.” She whispered.

Merlin laughed again.

“He's in there!” Arthur said, pointing at the tent behind Amena.

“Be careful, he's not expecting visitors. He's stronger than you think.”

“He's what?” Arthur asked.

Merlin laughed again, so Arthur didn't stop to listen to Amena any longer. He walked around her and lifted the flap to the tent.

That's when he saw it.

It was like watching the earth open up and swallow everything he loved. It was like someone had asked for his worst nightmare, and made it true. It was so painful all Arthur could do was stare. He stared at Merlin, the boy he had trusted, the boy he had loved. How could he do this?

He hadn't even noticed Arthur was there. He laughed again as the horse, made of blue flame, galloped around the tent.

Arthur felt another stab of betrayal when the man opposite Merlin laughed too. Lancelot.

Lancelot and Merlin's eyes followed the horse around the tent, until it galloped towards and through Arthur on it's way out.

Merlin's smile didn't falter when he saw Arthur.

“Arthur!” He shouted, standing up.

He was ready to jump at Arthur, ready to kiss every inch of him. But he stopped when he saw Arthur's face. He looked crushed, devastated, humiliated.

Merlin stared at him wide-eyed. He looked like a child caught sneaking out. Wringing his hands, Merlin thought desperately for something to say. Some way to explain the fire horse that had been flying around a second ago.

For a while, Arthur looked like he was going to walk away without saying anything. At the last second though, he spun around with fury in his eyes. Merlin was reminded of Uther.

“My father was right.” He didn't yell, he didn't scream, he just said it calmly.

It had the intended effect, Merlin felt rejected and hurt. More than that though, he felt guilty, because he had never used magic to make Arthur fall in love with him, but now that's all Arthur would think. He had confessed to using sorcery to save Arthur, and all it had done was plant the seed of doubt in Arthur's mind.

“Arthur I never-” Arthur took a step forward silencing Merlin.

“You used sorcery to make me love you. Ha-ha, let's all laugh at gullible King Arthur who thinks he loves a servant. Laugh at gullible King Arthur who saved the life of a sorcerer!” As Arthur spoke, he got louder and louder until he was shouting at Merlin.

He withdrew his sword, and Merlin truly believed he would kill him. Until a hand appeared, stopping Arthur's advance. Gwaine came into view and both Lancelot and Merlin gasped.

“Gwaine?” Lancelot asked, speaking for the first time.

Arthur continued to stare at Merlin outraged. Merlin stood his ground, he wouldn't hurt Arthur though, he had to find a way to explain.

“Arthur-” Merlin was cut off once again, as Amena stepped into the tent.

“Pendragon, I hear news. Camelot is being attacked.”

Arthur didn't respond, so it fell to Gwaine to ask, “By who?”

“The army of Bilinyth.”

That got Arthur's attention, “Bilinyth? Why?”

“I know a lot of things, but that is not one of them.”

“Then what's the point of you! You know so much, yet you can't tell me why Bilinyth is attacking Camelot. You can't tell me why Eadred turned on my father. YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME MERLIN IS A TRAITOR!” Arthur shouted, storming out of the tent.

The words hit Merlin like a physical blow and he bent over trying to catch his breath. Arthur thought he was a traitor. How would he ever recover? Surely  _this_ couldn't be his destiny.

Lancelot helped Merlin to stand back up, rubbing his back gently to help him calm down.

“You aren't coming.” Arthur snapped at Merlin as he finally made it out of the tent.

“I love you.” Merlin replied.

For a moment, it looked like Arthur believed him.

Only for a moment, and then he just looked furious.


	7. Saturday

**Saturday**

 

They were almost at Camelot now. They had rode all day and night, only stopping for a few hours sleep. And the whole time, no one had said a word. Not one single word, Gwaine could feel the tension bubbling around them, but he wasn't going to be the stupid one who broke it.

So instead, when he saw Camelot's walls rise up, he assumed everyone else could see them and didn't say anything. And when he saw a guard in a green cloak fall from the west tower, he assumed everyone else had seen it too. He almost spoke when he saw the fires at the top of the walls but Arthur spoke first.

“Right. This is as far as you go.” Arthur said, looking towards Camelot.

Everyone knew who he was talking to. The boy brushed his hair out of his face, it had grown much longer since he'd left Camelot, and shifted on his horse.

“Arthur-”

“Prince, or Sire, I'm not your equal, treat me with respect.” Arthur said, cutting Merlin off.

Merlin stared at the tense figure on the horse in front of him. Arthur hadn't even looked at him since they left the campsite, and Merlin didn't blame him. He just wished he would give him a chance to explain.

“Sire.” Merlin began to shake as he spoke, he tried to keep the fear out of his voice though, “Let me help. This was my home once.”

“Yes, and then you betrayed the Kingdom. You do not deserve to enter here. I will have you hung if you do.”

Merlin looked towards Gwaine and Lancelot for help. Gwaine felt awful, Arthur had ignored him the whole way here, but so had Gwaine. Now was the chance to make it up to him.

“Arthur...” Gwaine whispered.

“You won't enter Camelot either.”

“Me? Why?” Gwaine asked, offended.

“In case you've forgotten Gwaine, you were banished. And Lancelot, I helped you escape from my father, don't willingly hand yourself over now.”

And with that Arthur kicked his horse and galloped towards Camelot.

“We're still going in, aren't we?” Merlin asked after Arthur had disappeared.

“Oh yeah. Of course.” Gwaine said, kicking his horse into a gallop.

*******

Richard cradled the boys head. He didn't know who or what side they were on, but someone had hit him with the business end of a mace. Just when Richard had decided he'd rather die than the boy, fate had decided that wasn't how it worked and took him anyway. All night, he'd fought with the boy to protect him, and his efforts were still in vain.

Richard had dragged the boy to safety, in the doorway of the nearest house, as soon as he had gotten hit. Now he sat here, the boy's head on his knees, telling him it was all going to be okay. Someone would come and help, someone had to.

The boy's eyes were half closed now and he was icy cold, Richard pressed his fingers to the boys neck – his pulse had slowed considerably.

“It's going to be okay. I promise. What's your name?” Richard ask, putting on a brave face.

“James.” He croaked.

“James, how old are you?” Richard asked.

The boys eyes closed fully now and Richard became panicked, “No James. Stay awake, stay with me, how old are you?”

“Sixteen.” He breathed, Richard barely heard him.

Sixteen, he was hardly grown up. He didn't deserve this. The blood had made Richard's hand sticky, but he didn't care, he kept it pressed firmly against James' wound, trying to stop the flow. Of course, it wouldn't work, Richard had seen enough head wounds to know that.

All he could do was make James comfortable and happy.

“How are you feeling, James?” He asked, calmly.

He ignored the battle around him, ignored the sound of pain and anger and death. He just focused on James.

“Cold.” James whispered, after a beat he added, “Scared.”

“Scared of what?” Richard asked as he watched a tear drop from his eye onto James' cheek.

“Death.”

“You aren't going to die.”

“I am. I can feel it.”

“No. You're going to be okay.”

James' eyes fluttered open and looked straight at Richard intensely.

“I'm sorry.” Richard whispered, as his eyes blurred with tears.

“It's not your... Fault” James said.

His eyes unfocused, they were no longer piercing through to Richard's soul, they just stared off into the distance. Richard cradled James closer, sobbing onto his shoulder. He didn't stop when a man roared near him, didn't stop to look up when he heard his anguished cry as he was knocked down, didn't stop when someone asked him if he was okay. Because he obviously wasn't. He didn't think he'd be okay ever again.

** *** **

The battle had been going on for a long time, Arthur could tell. Men, women and children lay dead everywhere. There were still knights battling, so caught up in the fight they  didn't stop to look at Arthur. He walked, like a ghost, invisible, through the war.

He stopped when he saw one of Camelot's knights weeping on one of Bilinyth's knights. He ran over, something must be terribly wrong. Arthur recognised the curly brown hair, Richard.

“Richard. Are you okay? Listen to me, Richard. He's gone, you can't help him. It's... It's not your fault.” Arthur explained, trying to pry the knight away from the body.

One of Bilinyth's knight came barrelling towards him. Years of training allowed him to react quick enough, he blocked the mans attack with his own sword and immediately rammed the hilt into the man's head. The man fell to the ground, knocked out but not killed. Arthur wouldn't unnecessarily kill anyone in this battle. Afterall, the battle was his fault.

“Richard, you're going to get killed if you stay here.” That roused Richard slightly.

He pulled away and looked at Arthur, his eyes red from crying so much. He seemed confused at Arthur's sudden appearance, but Arthur didn't have time to answer any questions. He reached down and pulled Richard through the doorway and into the house behind him. He lifted Richard onto a chair and handed him some water. It was Gwen's house, but she wasn't here, she'd be helping Gaius with the casualties.

“Stay here.” Arthur commanded, but he didn't wait for an answer before leaving the house.

He continued walking through the battle. Occasionally, a Bilinyth knight would attempt to attack Arthur, and each time Arthur would knock them out, barely batting an eyelid. He had things to do and he couldn't get distracted now.

He finally found them. In the centre of the courtyard, swinging their swords at each other. Both seemed exhausted and both had visible injuries, but neither stopped for breath. Arthur didn't really think his plan through, two enraged men with swords and Arthur merely walked over to them.

“Hello Father.” Arthur said.

Uther stopped mid swing and turned to stare, dumbstruck, at his son. He didn't say anything though, no heartfelt apology, no calling off the fight, instead he just turned back to Eadred and continued to fight.

“Father stop! You have to call off the battle.” Arthur shouted over the clanging of swords.

But still Uther did not.

“This battle, it's not going to achieve anything.” Arthur felt a soft hand wrap around his.

“Hello handsome.” Mathilde whispered.

He looked over to see her smiling encouragingly at him. She had blood on her dress, and eyes red from crying, but she was smiling. She gave his hand a little squeeze and he continued.

“You have turned my love for Merlin into something horrible and twisted. I never meant for this to happen, I should have told you outright that I loved him, rather than make you find out on your own. I didn't mean to infuriate you or hurt you, father.”

Uther didn't stop fighting as Arthur continued, “I love him, I always will. I'd rather never become King than live another day without him. I don't know why I keep trying to convince myself I'm okay without him, because I'm not. I'm useless without him, I'm a mess. Without him, I see no reason to get up in the morning, no reason to eat, or bathe or  _anything_ . Even if...”

Arthur took a deep breath, and thought of every moment he'd spent with Merlin. Every time the he'd made him laugh, or cheered him up when he was sad.

Arthur nodded to himself as though confirming what he already knew, “Even if it does turn out he has magic, I would bring magic back to Camelot for him. There are a thousand reasons why I should leave him, but there are a thousand more of why I should stay with him. I know you think I'm weak for loving him, but I don't care. I'd do anything for him... All he has to do is ask. Which means I now have to go find him, again...” Arthur finished, trailing off.

Mathilde looked at him a little confused but overall proud of his confession. She squeezed his hand again, just as Uther finally looked at him.

“Arthur what are you...” Uther trailed off and stared down at the sword that had just entered his stomach.

Arthur, for the second time in two days, watched his world fall apart. He ran forward and caught his father before he landed. There was a gasp and a shout near him, but he didn't look up. He focused only on his father, bleeding profusely and coughing.

“Father, no, no, no.” Arthur whispered, panicking threatening to burst through his chest, then he shouted, “SOMEONE HELP!”

“FATHER!” Mathilde cried, as Eadred pulled his sword out of Uther.

Then Eadred raised his sword to Arthur, who was busy crouching over his father, begging for help, unaware of the danger. 

“NO!” Mathilde screamed, grabbing Uther's dropped sword and inexpertly whacked at Eadred's sword.

Her attack wasn't strong enough to even slightly move Eadred's sword, but he stopped anyway. He stared at her, repulsed.

“Fine, Mathilde.” Eadred grabbed Mathilde's arms and dragged her away.

Arthur watched her being dragged away, she looked back to him and mouthed goodbye. He silently said goodbye to her, vowing to save her from her father as soon as he could, and followed his father, now being carried towards Gaius' chambers.

*******

“I would like to speak to Arthur alone.” Uther said, from where he lay.

Gaius and Gwen stopped their fussing and left the room. Gwen kissed Arthur quickly on the cheek before she left.

“Father?” Arthur asked apprehensively.

“About your speech.”

“I know, I'm sorry.” Arthur said, “I don't what came over me.”

“Don't be. The way you speak about Merlin,” Arthur smiled slightly, at least Uther finally knew his name, even if it was too late, “Is the way I felt about your mother.”

Arthur smiled, it was just typical that his father would forgive Merlin, minutes after Arthur had banished him.

“I've lost one child, I will not lose another. If you are still serious about seeing this boy, I will allow him to come back. But please, Arthur, be careful, I will not lose you.”

Arthur rested his hand on his father's arm, “Thank you.”

“I'm sure we can figure out this heir business in a few years time.” Uther smiled up at Arthur, although it turned into a grimace as the pain in his stomach worsened.

“I'll call Gaius back.” Arthur laughed.

He stood and walked out. In the hallway he was greeted by a horrible sight.

Gwaine and Lancelot pushed past Arthur, he briefly wondered why they were here, before he saw they were carrying Mathilde.

They lay her down in a bed near to Uther's and Arthur ran over. He stared, mouth hanging open. No way was this happening, she couldn't die... Not now. Especially not now.

This was supposed to be the end of the pain and deaths. It was supposed to be the time he would lift Tilly into his arms and thank her for all she did. It was supposed to be when she would meet Merlin, and he would meet Eoin. They were supposed to sign the treaty and laugh about what would have been their wedding. This was supposed to be the happy ending.

Blood was seeping across her pale green dress, the very same dress Arthur had first seen her in. He reached out and held her hands. As he gently squeezed her hand, her eyes opened.

“Hello Arthur.” She breathed out.

“Tilly. What happened?” Arthur asked, feeling a single tear travel down his cheek.

“My father. Apparently I am a traitor.” She smiled a small smile.

“You're not a traitor!” Arthur hissed.

“Shh,” She reached up and carressed his face, “I am a traitor.”

Arthur opened his mouth to protest but she silenced him, “I am a traitor for you. I betrayed my own father, because you love that serving boy. But I don't regret it, Arthur, not one bit. I would do it all again, exactly the same, as long as you have him. Promise me, promise me, you will never, ever let him go again.” 

“I promise.” Arthur whispered, tears streaming down his face.

“And please,” She had become so quiet Arthur had to lean close to hear, “Tell Eoin. I love him, save him from my father, please.”

“I will.” Arthur vowed but Tilly had already stopped breathing.

He still meant it, even if it was the last thing he ever did, he would hunt down Eadred and kill him. He would make him suffer how Arthur had suffered today. He would console Eoin and tell him how much Tilly loved him. He would comfort and listen to his stories of her. He was determined, she would be remembered.

Arthur stared at her for a while longer, still holding her hand. No one said anything, they let Arthur mourn his best friend in silence.  


	8. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter :) Let me know what you all thought.

**Sunday**

 

“Are you ready?” Merlin asked, standing awkwardly at the door.

He had no idea how to react in this situation. He had never met Mathilde, but clearly Arthur had loved her. He was hurting over her loss and Merlin could do nothing about it.

“No.” Arthur's reply came from behind the partition.

He stepped out, dressed in his ceremonial outfit, the same outfit he wore for much happier occasions. He avoided Merlin's gaze and instead pulled uncomfortably at the jacket he had on.

“I hate this jacket.” He muttered, more to himself than to Merlin.

“I like it.” Merlin whispered.

Arthur looked at him for the first time since the campsite. It made Merlin's heart beat out an erratic rhythm. He felt the breath catch in his throat as those bright blues pierced his own. Merlin shifted slightly under his stare, it was hard to tell what Arthur was thinking.

“Merlin, listen.” Arthur began

But Merlin cut him off before he could finish, “I understand. I'll leave now, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Merlin heaved the door open and stepped out, but before he could go far Arthur had caught up and grabbed his arm. The gesture reminded both of them of the day Merlin had escaped. Merlin swallowed a lump in his throat and turned around.

“Let me finish.” Arthur said.

He didn't continue speaking, he merely pulled Merlin into a bone-crushing hug. Merlin didn't question why, instead he buried his face into Arthur's chest and listened to his heartbeat. His heart was beating to the same rhythm Merlin's was, Merlin couldn't help but smile.

Arthur pressed his lips into Merlin's longer hair, and clamped his eyes shut. Merlin didn't move. He knew Arthur needed this.

So they stood there for a long time. Arthur breathing in the smell of soap from Merlin's hair and Merlin feeling Arthur's chest rise and fall with every breath.

*******

The sun was sparkling on the lake, again. It hurt to be here after what had happened, but he knew this was the right place for her. It was where they had gotten to know each other, where Arthur had realised he loved Tilly. He imagined her mother would want her back in Bilinyth but Arthur wouldn't taint Tilly's funeral with the death of her father, because next time he was in Bilinyth, Eadred would die.

Arthur shook out the thought, today he would focus on her. He ignored the fact that he was the only one here who had actually met Tilly, his father was still injured and Arthur very much doubted he would mourn Tilly's passing anyway. The sun reflected off the water into Arthur's eyes, but he ignored that too.

He bent down next to the small boat with Tilly inside. Arthur reached out and brushed some of her white blond hair off her face. Her lips were no longer pink, and all the colour had drained from her face, so Arthur couldn't pretend she was sleeping.

“I'm so sorry, Tilly.” He whispered, careful to make sure Merlin didn't hear, “I love you. If it had come to it, I would have willingly walked down the aisle for you.”

He kissed her gently on the forehead and pushed the boat into the water. The boat rocked slightly as the wind picked up, but, as though pulled by an invisible string, it stayed straight on course. Mathilde's pale green dress was still visible, fluttering in the wind, as the boat floated further away.

Merlin stepped forward and held onto Arthur's hand.

“Forbearnan” Merlin said, waving his hand.

He could have done the spell silently, but he said it for Arthur anyway. He felt Arthur squeeze his hand as the boat burst into flames.

It had only been a week since he had met Mathilde but he already knew he would never meet another like her. The way she could light up a room and make everyone feel totally at ease with her, was truly astounding. She had been able to make Arthur laugh even without Merlin. She had convinced him to go after Merlin, without her he wouldn't have gone.

Merlin looked over at Arthur, he was stood pale-faced and unmoving. It broke Merlin's heart to see Arthur in this much pain.

Arthur watched the boat, slowly sink into the lake. So it was on Sunday, the day of Arthur and Mathilde's wedding, that Mathilde was put to rest.

Arthur interlaced his fingers with Merlin's for the slow walk back to Camelot.

*******

Merlin opened his eyes. Careful not to make a sound, he peeked over the edge of his blanket.

And there he was; Arthur Pendragon pulling his shirt off over his head. Merlin didn't care why he was here, he was just grateful he was.

Moonlight was pouring in through the glass-less window, bathing Arthur's muscled back in an angelic silvery glow. Merlin had no idea what time it was, but  _in the middle of the night_ was a good guess.

Quickly snapping his eyes shut, Merlin faked sleeping. He heard Arthur's footsteps and then felt the cold, as the blanket on top of him was pulled away slightly. A moment later, he felt Arthur's arms wrap around him, felt his body press against his own.

“Wouldn't we be more comfortable in your bed?” Merlin whispered.

They were squeezed together in Merlin's tiny bed, but Arthur wanted it that way.

“Sorry to wake you.” Arthur whispered, after a beat he added, “Sorry for everything I did. I don't care you have magic.”

“It's not important.” Merlin whispered, snuggling back into the warmth of Arthur.

“It is, Merlin, I was an idiot.” Arthur said, his breath tickling Merlin's neck.

“Nothing new then.” Merlin whispered, he was already dozing off.

Arthur laughed and Merlin thought it was the best sound he'd heard in his life. 


End file.
